Poems about the Army
Apprentices School, Harrogate
(Attributed to Terry Corbett, intake 54B, with some
subsequent editing)
Introduction to the Triple ‘O’ and Triple ‘B’
Large pack, small pack, ‘L’ straps, cross straps and
webbing belt,
Ammo pouches, gaiters, and a white belt soft as felt.
This is how you ‘card’ your brasses, no blanco on the buckles
You rub your brass on bits of card and blacken all your knuckles.
Scalding molten ‘Kiwi’ spread across your bumpy
boots,
Toes and heels and uppers ‘boned’ using the handles of your ‘UTES’.
Webbing blancoed, buckles cleaned, inside you use a matchstick,
Large pack, small pack squared with hardboard, you’ve learnt another
trick.
Dusters full of fluff destroy the ‘bulling rings’
that linger.
The thimble’s got no end on it, a needle pricks your finger,
Sew buttons on your Service Dress, split nails on denim rings,
Spit and polish, ‘bull’ and shine, you’ve got too many things.
The triple ‘O’ – the triple ‘B’, for six months of
your life,
BrassO – BlancO – ZebO, parades and drill and strife.
But looming large o’er everything, the triple ‘B’ is king,
‘cos “Bullshit Baffles Brains” they say applies to everything.
A bucketful of water hot and a tin of Zebo black,
On Friday night for Saturday is spread to fill each crack.
The hardwood polished centre strip is ‘bumped’ throughout the night.
The table’s scraped with razor blades until it’s pristine white.
Your kit laid out upon your bed, by eating knife is
measured,
Seven inches long both deep and wide, bed-pack boxed and squared.
Don’t walk upon the Zebo though, your boots have twelve hobnails,
You’ll slip and leave some silver marks, like half-a-dozen snails.
With thanks to Trevor "Bill" Powell for this contribution.